just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
