i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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