Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
