dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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