life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
