So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
