Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
