If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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