All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
we have officially lost it.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
