3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize