i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
