I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
