PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
