So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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