I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
