There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
