what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
