and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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