she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I love you.
Bad choice
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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