just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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