But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
