Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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