The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
