my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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