I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
