if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
