Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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