Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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