I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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