I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
