I just threw up on my dentist
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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