Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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