Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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