love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
