he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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