just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
