summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
