Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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