I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.