These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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