so explain again why im purple
no
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
