Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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