you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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