i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
