we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
