She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
