I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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