While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
