I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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