I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
