I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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