roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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