There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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