Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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