Already got asked if we're dating
so that wasnt chicken after all
I will die if light touches me.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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