I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
