At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Someone signed my nipple.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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