HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
