i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
