he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
