i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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