hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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